Walking Rage

Road Rage is dumb.


- "Grr! Drive less... stupid. Ly."

Okay, so that picture may not be the most aptly suited to my argument, because it looks like a real pile up, but I just like the correlation between the large metal object not too dissimilar from a screw and the man's Frankenstein-esque expression and physique. Did he take that out of his neck to swing with?

But think of it this way. There's a reason why people don't have "Street-Rage" or "Walking-Rage" and it's because it's incredibly rude and, well, dangerous. Can you imagine being trapped behind a slow moving eldery couple on a narrow sidewalk, and instead of just waiting for your chance to pass shouting "BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAP, BWAAAAAAAAAAAP" as loud as you can until they "got the picture" and sped up? Can you imagine yourself bitching about how slow they're going loud enough for them to hear? Can you imagine doing it behind a 6'5 guy named Toenails whose left arm has been grafted on with bobby pins?

I don't see complaing or honking as a legitimate response to poor driving. For God's sake, driving's a lot faster than walking, shouldn't walking people be more in a hurry? When enclosed in the four walls of a car, where their words and narcissistic bitchings can't be heard by others, people gain a petty form of courage most call, well, cowardice. Road Rage tells more about the person driving than it does the abilities of the other car. It tells if they're easy to anger, it tells if they have no respect for the particulars of other people, (say, the other car could be new to the city and looking for a street #) and it tells, if there are others in the car with them, that they rather rudely consider bitchings about being slowed up 10 extra seconds more important than your conversation. The walking example is best, outside of the protection of the car you wouldn't act this way. Is this the face of the everyday human when given anonimity?

Honking is the funniest because it is so nondescript. When something tees you off you press a button that emits a loud noise. The pitch never changes. Sound never changes. Only the duration can be used to connotate anything, and even then - extremely long means "pissed off" and extremely short means "pissed off." It's kind of funny that two 'soft' ones in a row somehow implies a friendlier vibe.

Next time I'm behind some people walking slowly in the street I'm going to start onomatopoeically honking at them. They'd probably find it weird for some reason.