Sunday, June 12, 2005

Great Joels in History

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There have been many great Joels in history.
* Joelexander the Great.
* Ghengis Joel.
* Stephen Joel Gould.
* Joel Liberachi.
* Senator Joel Lieberman.
* Joeltin' Joel Carter.
Well, you get the idea...

Let's look at some REAL famous Joels in history. And some from Pre-history.



JOEL CARR:

- I don't know if this kid is famous at all, but if you type 'Joel' into google he tops the list. And THAT's pretty impressive. Almost as impressive as his incredible leg push-ups from that upside-down staircase. Go gravity-defying Joel go!



JOEL BARLOW:

-No one will believe me, but I wrote "Joel Lieberman" above BEFORE I found this quote BY him concerning a famous Joel, poet Joel Barlow. His most famous poem was apparently called 'The Hasty Pudding.'


Mr. Lieberman: Mr. President, I rise to honour one of America's earliest diplomats and a distinguished native of Connecticut, Joel Barlow. On June 28, in a modest ceremony, a bronze biographical tablet will be dedicated to Barlow in the churchyard of the tiny village of Zarnowiec, Poland, where Barlow died and was laid to rest in 1812. The event is organized and the tablet donated by the Joel Barlow Memorial Fund, in cooperation with the American Center of Polish Culture and DACOR, Diplomatic and Consular Officers Retired (of the U.S. State Department).

Damn. Joel Barlow! What a guy! Who is next I wonder?

JOEL SCHUMACHER:

- He's made great movies like 'A Time to Kill' and 'The Client.' He also made SOMETHING with movies like 'Batman and Robin' and 'Batman goes to the Beach.'

BILLY JOEL:

- When I was a kid I totally dug the movie
Oliver and Company, which was a total Disney hit. Billy Joel did some of the main themes on the tape a buddy I haven't seen since grade 6 named Ford Thursten gave to me for my birthday. Needless to say, he is thus the most famously revered Joel so far on our list. (Although, that Joel Carr kid - what balance!)


JOEL PLASKETT:

- I got to have a listen to his 'Truthfully Truthfully' album recently, and I kept a few songs. On the whole I was expecting a little more. He'd be pretty fun live though, I'd bet. A rising star in the music industry versus a dinosaur of commercial heart-mop tunez... Billy Joel's still got the edge. And by 'got the edge' I mean he doesn't have the edge at all, and is thus more famous. As it goes.


Thus, the winner is: Billy Joel! Or maybe Hayley Joel Osmett. Or that big guy who comes at Christmas, you know, Santa-Joel.

You've GOTTA see this! <-- And you thought I wasn't classy...

Always thought I was lying? <-- Convert heathan bastards!

Also: I typed in 'Joel Flip' and found this:


Turns out I'M Raphael from Ninja Turtles. Who knew?


Probably Splinter - that rat bastard.

Ohh... pun-pain...

3 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

ha ha

carte Joel at the restaurant.

Awesome. Awesome to the max.

-Collins

2:15 a.m.  
Blogger Joel said...

*high five*
from a fellow joel

11:39 p.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I LOVE JOEL CARR

8:57 a.m.  

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